Sunday, June 14, 2009

If I was a girl...

No its not a response to Beyonce's hit song.
Just a thought that came to me while i was listening to the song this morning. what would life be like if i was a girl? i think there would be many more demands on me and a lot more responsibility. i admire many of my female friends who are mothers, wives employees, students all wrapped up in one. by their nature women are more level headed, grounded and disciplined. if i was a girl there certainly would not be all this partying i get up to, no junk food coz i would cook for myself, but there would also be worrying about clothes, buying a million pairs of shoes etc. 

just imagine though if for just a day we could be the opposite sex...men would finally understand women and women would figure out men. would make life a lot easier coz we would appreciate our unique complexities and differences.

i admire women but would i want to be them? they say the grass is always greener, but i don't think i would want want to be a girl. there has to be reason why i was made a man. there is grand plan and things i must fulfill and i have been manufactured this way in order to do so. 

a good friend of mine (female) always says she is a human being, period. i guess she is right we are human beings before we are boy or girl. thats all that should matter!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Love what you do and do what you love


Love what you do and do what you love…simple advice, but perhaps the hardest to follow. How many of us can actually say that they truly love what they do. Be it professionally, socially, romantically?

 

Hard advice to follow mainly because we do things for others and not because we really want to do them let alone love what we do. it is the the nature of human beings to do things in order to create an impression, keep up appearances or keep up with the Jones'. sad but true.


Lets take it from a professional perspective. There are millions of us who have taken a specific career path because our parents or relatives said we should. So we end being lawyers and doctors not because it is our passion but because we were guided towards that profession. I know countless friends who have taken up a particular job or stay in one because their spouses or friends think it is the best thing for them. So they spend years feeling frustrated, resenting their work mates just because they don’t love what they do. 


Earlier this week I had a chat with a workmate. She told me how she can’t wait for August to arrive so that she could start University and do her masters. She hates her current job and is merely passing the time and going through the motions. I feel for her, really and I told her I noticed how sad she looks.

 

Socially and romantically how many of you do things just to keep up the appearances. I see many guys, in fact I have been one of them forced to go on a shopping spree with a woman. I don’t want to be there, but I am forced to be. To keep the peace, to make the other party happy, to score some points. For whatever reason, truth of the matter is I was not doing it for myself. I didn’t want to do it, let alone love doing it. 


Countless people will buy a particular car, outfit, move into a particular house or attend an event, not because they want to but just because everyone else is or it is expected. Classic example was Kampala, UB40 rolled into two. everyone and their grandma wanted to be there. Yes UB40 is a great band, but i certainly have never felt their much that much save for a couple of songs. so i did not jump onto that bandwagon, but trust i know loads of people who did. and why so they could be see or say there were at the show. (funny enough is that some of them wanted me to pay for them. that's a story for another day!)


So what is the solution? 


Do you bury your head in the sand and ignore the rest of the world? not possible. we do not live in isolation and so we cannot get away with doing things just for us cases in point: parents, boyfriends and husbands. However, this should not deprive us of some happiness. I say carve out that space that makes you happy then maximise on it. There is no way we can be happy 100 percent 24-7, however we can find some portion of time or some place where we truly do something that makes us happy. that time where you are uncompromising, selfish and self centred. Do things for you and you alone. No-one else! indulge in these moments, times, places and then get back to trying to please the rest of the world, who knows you might find you love it so much you end up doing it entirely. 


Do you think Tiger Woods, Donald Trump, Bill Gates, 50 Cent love what they do? 


Sure they do and there is no reason why you shouldn’t. maybe not now but certainly at some point. i am determined that once i have made my fortune, i will retire and study psychology and own and manage my own football team. i will also open up a nightclub and fulfill my fantasy of being a DJ. 


at that time i will be able to say i am truly doing what i love. I cant wait!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The beautiful ones are not yet born

Two days ago the death of Omar Bongo, the former president of Guinea was confirmed after days of speculation. Many may not have heard of him but his greatest claim to fame was being Africa’s longest serving leader. In an age where we have been under the rule of “big men” for decades, Omar Bongo’s reign of 42 years is not remarkable, but is still a record that will take some beating. 

Just days ago, leaders of the Common Market for East and Southern Africa (COMESA) concluded a meeting in the Zimbabwean town of Victoria Falls. At this meeting the attending heads of state and government elected President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe to the
chairmanship of this grouping. Mugabe, man who is well known to the world for overseeing the collapse of one of the continents most impressive economies, is fast closing in on Bongo's record. Mugabe has been in power for 29 years now, albeit controversially over the last decade. It is well known how he and his party have stolen the last two elections through violence, intimidation and electoral fraud. Yet despite all this his peers chose to elect him to lead COMESA a move that he will boast as further endorsement of his legitimacy but more importantly an indictment of fellow African leaders who are standing by and watching as the continent disregards the principles of democracy and respect for human rights. 

These actions will beg the question how and why, right thinking mean and women
continue to allow their fellow leaders to stay in power well beyond their “best before” dates and certainly beyond the time that the majority of their citizens would still want them to remain in office. However this is fairly easy and simple to understand. Birds of a feather flock together and this saying does not ring true more than it does in Africa. 

Most African leaders think like Mugabe . They have come to power through violent means (coup or liberation struggles) and believe that they cannot relinquish that power through less violent means. While they hold elections, the outcomes of these are not respected or upheld. They despise anyone who is a threat to their continued stay in power. 

After a while I think that the absolute power they are accorded or that they amass, gets to their heads and they feel invincible and that in fact it is their God given right and duty that they should lead their respective countries. Such delusions characterise leaders across the African continent who are often heard saying that they are making a huge sacrifice by staying in power. 

Who are they kidding?

Sadly the African tragedy has cascaded below the Presidents, the first families and the cronies and sycophants who surround them. At all levels we as Africans have been poisoned by the love of power, money, greed, corruption. This is why businesspeople, employees, government officers all engage in some corrupt dealings at some level to further their own cause or that of one of their own. Nepotism and tribalism will continue to be the scourge of the continent and it has been fueled by African leaders who have shamelessly displayed these traits as they seek to consolidate their powerbases and remain in power.

Many years ago I ready a novel by Ayi Kwei Armah, titled "The Beautyful ones are not yet born"(deliberately spelt with "y") it is a sad but accurate depiction of the decay and rot in african societies wrought by corrupt leaders and officials. it goes on to highlight that this indeed is an African problem because we all have in one way or another become part and parcel of the decay.

two days ago, one of the leaders passed on to the next life. a message that this is purely transitory and will not last forever. while they are dying off one by one, sadly, the beautiful ones have not yet been born! 

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

we are not safe anymore

Technology with all the convenience it brings can be a nuisance sometimes. the age of the digital camera means that images can be captured and instantly distributed all over the globe thanks to the world wide web. Great if you are out to sell something and need to show visual samples, bad if you are caught doing something "goofy" at a party and just like that the embarrassing and undesirable images are plastered all over the world.

Just yesterday I received an email with photographs of a person I know, a certain high ranking business executive, "caught in the act" with a workmate. Firstly just by looking at the photos they were not caught. caught would imply the photographic evidence was captured without their knowledge. These were photos they took of each other in the bedroom, bathroom and other places while they engaged in various intimate acts.

Nothing out of the ordinary, these days. I have on several occassion seen similar types of photographs that lovers often take of each other. I suppose just a mental memory is no longer enough, we now need digital images to reminisce. Or could it be our egos at play. A guy will want to prove to his "boys" that indeed he is the one who is "in the mix" so to speak.

The problem comes in when their parties access this content and use for their own purposes, often not good. just ask Michael Phelps who suffered a terrible PR crisis and lost millions in sponsorship for an image released showing him having a little fun at what was supposed to be a private party.

Granted people, and especially those in prominent positions, should not be acting irresponsibly, however we are all human and what I do in the "privacy" of my own home or hotel room or anywhere else private should be respected. Sadly due to the advances in technology, this is becoming harder. The world is becoming smaller due to technology and so too is the scrutiny we are all under. They say big brother watching. Indeed he is, and so too is little sister, the cousin, uncles, aunts, the neighbours and lots more.

Technological advancement...Gift or Curse?

Monday, June 8, 2009

First Trial

I have been procrastinating about this (setting up a blog) for a while now. But today I finally set my mind to it and decided to take the plunge. In fact today is a day of many decisive and potentially life altering decisions. Along with starting this up I have also decided to quit drinking (alcohol) and to determined to no longer be "Mr Nice Guy" and let people walk all over me. June 8th is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and hopefully one that will be marked with success and happiness. 

I have always loved reading and writing but have not dedicated a lot of time to the latter. there have been perennial excuses, too busy with work, poor connections etc. But all that's been put to an end. The buck has finally stopped! 

So what does one write in a blog? This one is titled my reflections so it will be a melting pot of ideas, thoughts, ideas and opinions on an array of issues. I currently live and work in Kampala, Uganda and this city has a million stories to be told. So I guess that is a good starting point as any. 

I am passionate about motivation and self improvement so I will also talk about stories to inspire and uplift others. One of the most influential quotes I have ever comer cross states that "if you are not making a difference then you do not matter" I wholeheartedly believe this and live by it. I try to make a difference, no matter how small whenever the opportunity presents itself. This blog is just one such opportunity so heres hoping it touches many and makes some sort of difference. Here's hoping we all enjoy the ride.
Farai